National Geographic Photo of the Day

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Words of Wisdom (No, not really)


I'm not quite sure these are words of wisdom. But these not-so-zen teachings can lighten your day ;)  There are a few gems within.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just leave me the Hell alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

13. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass... then things just keep getting worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am regular reader, how are you everybody? This piece
of writing posted at this web page is truly nice.


Feel free to surf to my homepage - golden retriever lab mix pictures

Anonymous said...

It's going to be ending of mine day, but before end I am reading this great article to increase my knowledge.

Feel free to visit my web blog; quality mini goldendoodle puppies material

Anonymous said...

Hi, i think that i saw you visited my web site thus i came to return the prefer?
.I'm trying to find issues to improve my website!I assume its ok to make use of a few of your concepts!!

Here is my blog post: visit website

Anonymous said...

You need to take part in a contest for one of the highest
quality sites online. I'm going to highly recommend this web site!

Here is my blog post :: cool dog pictures golden retriever details

Anonymous said...

Aw, this was an extremely nice post. Spending some time and actual effort
to generate a great article… but what can I say… I
procrastinate a whole lot and never seem to get nearly anything done.


Take a look at my web blog: handy yellow lab golden retriever stuff

Anonymous said...

Howdy! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with Search Engine Optimization?
I'm trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I'm not seeing very good results.
If you know of any please share. Appreciate it!

My web blog ... Get More Info

Anonymous said...

Good day! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a group of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community
in the same niche. Your blog provided us useful information to work on.

You have done a extraordinary job!

Take a look at my web blog - Learn More Here

Anonymous said...

Hello very nice site!! Man .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I'll bookmark your website and take the feeds also? I'm glad to search out numerous
helpful information right here in the post, we'd like work out more strategies in this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .

my web page - Full Article

Anonymous said...

Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon
on a daily basis. It's always useful to read through articles from other writers and practice a little something from other web sites.

Feel free to visit my homepage ... useful puppy dog forums tips

Anonymous said...

hello there and thank you for your info – I have definitely picked up anything new
from right here. I did however expertise a few technical issues
using this website, since I experienced to reload the web site
many times previous to I could get it to load correctly.
I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK?
Not that I am complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will often affect your placement in google
and can damage your high quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords.
Well I am adding this RSS to my email and can look out
for a lot more of your respective intriguing content.
Make sure you update this again soon.

My weblog :: helpful the golden retrievers facts

Anonymous said...

Hello, its pleasant paragraph regarding media print, we all be aware of media is a enormous source
of information.

My site - additional info

Anonymous said...

There is certainly a great deal to find out about this topic.
I really like all the points you've made.

Feel free to visit my webpage :: http://daf-mn.org/story.php?id=54532

Anonymous said...

Good answers in return of this question with solid arguments and describing everything concerning that.


my website :: Click For Source

Anonymous said...

Hello! This post could not be written any better!
Reading this post reminds me of my good old room mate!
He always kept chatting about this. I will forward
this post to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read.
Thank you for sharing!

Here is my homepage - labrador golden retriever puppy

Post a Comment