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Thursday, April 23, 2009

A spy in the KKR Camp - A guide to his nicknaming

I suppose it's the last thing "King Khan" needs but of late, a person professing to be a player from the Kolkatta Knight Riders has been sharing inside info about the team and about the antics of other players as well as some commentators, on an anonymous blog.

The picture he paints of most people is not quite flattering (and probably very accurate). He's called his team owner "Vinnie Dildo", Sreesanth as "Appam Chutiya", Tendulkar - Little Monster, Yuvraj - Prince Charles of Patiala, Shane Warne the Sheik of Tweak with a penchant for Mammary Land, and Chris Gayle - Calypso King, Lord Almighty - Ganguly, Meera Bhai - Harbhajan, Big Sister - Shilpa Shetty, Sandy Baddy Babe - Mandira Bedi, Little John - Ishant Sharma, Bangla Tiger - Mushrafe Murtaza and Junta Tormentor - Mendis.

There's more - Kishen Kanhaiyya -- Ravi Shastri, Pedophile Priest – Gilly, Kaan Moolo – Agakar, Bhooka Naan - Buchanan, Ganji Hangar - Sanjay Bangar, BubLee- Brett Lee, Gilli Danda - Ashok Dinda, Mangal Pandey - Laxmi Ratan Shukla, Little Sister - Shamita Shetty, Phoren baba - Mccullum, Peter ka Beta / Re-peter - Peterson and a few choice ways of describing Mr. Mallya (Mr. Batlivala).

Others mentioned include:
Candy Nickle - Andy Bichel, Sheeghra Patan - Yousuf Pathan, Jesse Ryder - Bevda, Big Mac - Mathew Hayden, Chintu Singh - Anureet Singh, Joker - Meiyang Chang, Shakespeare - Akash Chopra, Ram - VVS Laxman, RDB - Randeep Bose, John Wrong - John Wright, The Baja of Baroda - Anshuman Gaekwad, Havaii Chappal - Greg Chapell.

Chatterjee Kaaku refers to The Old Guy from the Ad posted by the KKR(Kolkata Knight Riders) Team where he says ‘Tum Bhi Jeetoge’.

Lady Jaya - Jayawardene
Arnold Power - Ramesh Powar
Castro - Fidel Edwards
Ghati Baba - Rohit Sharma
Aila - Sachin Tendulkar
Springbok - Morne Van Wyk
Lady Jaya - Mahela Jayawardene
Deeghra Patan - Irfan Pathan
Dewar - Rahul Dravid
Pamela Indersingh - VRV Singh
Big Brother - Raj Kundra
Babli - Preity Zinta
Aila - Tendulkar
Buddhiman Baba - Wriddhiman Saha
Sticky something - Ricky Ponting
Boy George - Joy Bhattacharya

Panty Curry = Robin Uthapa
(Logic - Pandy = Pig in Coorgi, Pandy curry is the most relished food of coorgies)
Chirkut Teli = Virat Kohli
Chinnu Popli = Sreevats Goswami
Gilli Danda = Ashok Dinda
Budhimaan Baba = Wridhiman Saha
Bubaan = Arindam Ghosh
Chikna Pussy = David Hussey
Durbaan of Patiala = Tom Moody (coach of Punjab)
Vakeel Saab = Kumar Sangakkara (training to become lawyer)
Saala Slimeball = Lalit Modi
Cool Dude = M S Dhoni
Bunty = Ness Wadia (Babli's mate)

No one really knows who this person is, or whether he really exists, but it seems a bit difficult to think that every one of the scandalous encounters and events within the team and off the field he describes can be made up.

Let's see what comes of this, and I sincerely hope no one catches him. That blog is just too much fun.

If you'd like to see the Fake IPL Player's latest posts, you can find them in my bloglist on the right as well as the fake IPL player section in the left sidebar.

I've added a more complete list of names.

5-May-09 More Names added

Poor Shah Rukh Khan has just gone back home, vowing not to return unless his team starts winning matches.

On April 30, the fake ipl player blog had this as part of an entry:
"P.P.P.P.P.S. I have decided to retire from all forms of cricket after IPL. I will disclose my identity on our last match day. "
We await eagerly for this revelation, sure to be a stunning one, if he's for real that is.

Note: The fake ipl payer blog sure has a huge fan following, in a month of blogging, the blog has nearly 4500 followers. In the end, he might not really be an IPL player....


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