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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Rioting - our national sport

When most people hear about some pressi
ng issue or irreverent comment by a prominent personality, they think "how rude, we should make our voices heard". Of course, there's a section of the population (in most cases the majority) who blindly follow any half-wit politician who opens his mouth after that and they start off a 'peaceful protest' against said comments. Soon they start wasting fuel (while the prices are ever skyrocketing) in burning effigies of above implicitly referred to speaker/speakers.

Now this is when more than half of the 'protesting' crowd realises, "oh this ain't fun enough, lets start the party" and the mob turns to rioting. General rules of rioting:

1. Damage and topple (if possible) vehicles parked by the curb.

2. Block the roads and hurl stones at anything made of glass on nearby buildings (who cares whether the owners of aforementioned building are involved even in the slightest)

3. Get bottles filled
with petrol (oh what a waste) ready and drop a piece of cloth in it through the bottle's mouth. Then light the free end of the cloth and hurl it at any policemen foolish enough to try to stop with you with their antiquated anti-riot equipment. The initiated would know of it as a "molotov Cocktail"

4. Any lamp posts, shops left open, public conveniences in the vicinity must be viciously attacked.

5. Stop all vehicular traffic. State transport buses are prime candidat
es. Highly useful material to make a point (is there really a point left in it?).

6. Break all windows of above-stopped bus. Now let all the folks get out (lest you want to be cannon fodder in a courthouse for the next few years and take the fall for some bigwig :-o ) and then douse the bus with flammable material. Light er' up and enjoy the show.

Now you're ready to have a really good time. To legitimize
it, get some party to call it a 'nationwide agitation'.

Sadly, thats what is happening all over India. Halfway through the 'agitation' ('outpouring of public rage' is a nice way of saying it), no one remembers why they're 'agitating' anymore. So much so that its riot-time even if some famous actor dies - I mean what did the government have to do with his death????

(Of course, Europeans riot too - each time a football match is lost!!)

In the end all you have is a few crores of public money lost thanks to the very public that it belongs to. If only people had the sense to stop this nonsense. If you really wanna burn something and "pour out your anger", go burn your own bloody house! Though Cricket is unofficially our national sport (Hockey officially for the uninformed), I suppose bus-burning would come a close second. :-(


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